Fuck My Current Job

Fuck My Current Job

     So I’m beyond pissed off at Wal-Mart right now. So Saturday they had me close, then had me come in at 9AM yesterday so I can train the new person. That person was litteraly the worse I’ve ever met, first off everyone knows that the manager changed my schedule so I specfically am the person who is training them, and they knew that. The entire time I’m training them on the slicers they were saying I’m lying and that I don’t know what I’m doing! I barely got any sleep Sunday night, didn’t get home until 11:30, had to shower and eat, probably ot to bed around 1:30/2AM.

     So yesterday I was supposed to be going home AT 6PM!!! Guess what happened, the one other person who was at work left for their lunch at 5, the idiot decided to leave the store for their lunch and their car stalled, so they weren’t back at 6. The other person who was supposed to come in a 6 never fucking showed up, didn’t even call out or anything. by 6:05 J was standing near the Deli asking what the hell is going on so I asked him to go get a manager for me, a manager did come back. First they asked me to stay late, until the person on lunch got his car fixed and came back. I told her I didn’t really want to, I told her that I closed last night and I’m ready to go home. She looked me dead in the eyes and said “if you leave you don’t have a job here anymore” then left me there.

     I stayed for 33 minutes before J’s mom came in and started yelling and made me leave. I found the manager that hired me and told her what happened. I left but while walking out of the store she was yelling into her ear piece about it. So hopefully the manager that threatened me gets into trouble. I’m praying I get a call back soon, I really can’t go back there. I’m tired of Wal-Mart, I’m beyond sick of it. That was the last straw, if I wasn’t afraid of not having a job I would just quit and not working until I find a new one. I have no idea how long it would take to find a new job and if I’m prenant or get pregnant I can’t afford to not have a job. I’ll just have to wait until I find a new job and know for sure I have the job. I’m going to have to suck it up and go there, but I’m really not doing anything extra anymore and I’m not training people and I’m calling out when I don’t feel like going in, I’m tired of this shit.

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Argument With J

Argument With J

     Last night J and I got into an hour long argument. The worst part of it, the argument was about the baby. I was talking to him about the baby, and how I can’t believe I’m already 6 weeks pregnant, and I’m so excited to start working with him. Somehow he ended up telling me a secret, he got me pregnant on purpose, and he only did it to make me happy.

      I was beyond pissed off with him. I’m not pissed about him purposely getting me pregnant, I’m pissed because his reasoning for doing it. I wont lie, I’ve had baby fever for a very long time, ever since the miscarriage. The thing is, I’ve ALWAYS told him that I could wait until he was ready to start a family, that I didn’t want to have a baby when he wasn’t ready. He knows how I feel about that, he always have. We’ve talked about it a thousand times before, he knew, he fucking knew I wanted him to be ready.

     He had no right to trick me into getting pregnant, especially if he wasn’t ready at the time. He doesn’t seem to get why I’m mad, “I’m ready for a baby now, so why does it matter that I wasn’t at the time?” is what he said to me quiet a few times last night.

     I’m mad because, what if he didn’t change his mind? What if he still wasn’t ready? What if he wasn’t by the time the baby came? What would happen than?

     He could’ve ruined our relationship and our child’s life completely. He didn’t even give me a choice, I had no idea any of that was happening. He should’ve talked to me about his doubts, given me a choice on weather I wanted to risk our relationship, if I wanted to risk our child having divorced parents.

     Even though we worked everything out, I’m still mad at him. He’s such a great guy, we’ve never had problems with him lying or hiding major things like this before. At least, I don’t know if he did. Now I have no clue what he’s said to me is true or if he hasn’t told me things. I don’t know if I could trust him after this, and I don’t know how to talk to him about this without starting another argument.

     I love this man with all my heart, he’s my best friend, and my fiance. I don’t want to be scared that he’s going to hide something from me, I want to trust him like I did before that argument last night. I want things between us to be good, I don’t want to be stress about this when I’m still stressing about getting that apartment and doing good at my new job.

     Also, somehow the argument last night turned into an argument about his money spending habits. I have no idea how that came up, but it did. I flipped on him, I even started crying and told him how I kinda feel like he’s trying to make it so we wont have enough money to move into the apartment. I wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, I’ve been very emotional the last few days, and it just keeps getting worse. We did work that out though at least, he’s going to stop spending unnecessary money and start saving. We also decided that after getting married we’re gong to keep our money separate, that way if something does happen between us we wont have to worry about the money. I highly doubt anything is, but it’s better then to be safe than sorry.